What would New Year’s Day be without a round-up of highs and lows from the previous 365 days?

Books gloriously round out my life, and looking back at what I’ve read is a hugely enjoyable diversion at this time of year, right up there with reading other people’s Best of/Worst of lists.

Let’s start with the Sad Disappointments of 2014. And I think I will do a ten-book countdown, with the awfullest thing coming last. Apologies to those who might find their own beloved books on this list. Just look away, okay? 😉

Books Which Let Me Down in 2014:

#10

Jalna

by Mazo de la Roche ~ 1927

I was really looking forward to delving into this classic of Canadiana, but it didn’t transport me as I had hoped it would. Installment number one of what would eventually be a 16-book saga, Jalna introduces us to an Ontario family matriarch on the cusp of her hundredth birthday, and her motley household of children, grandchildren, and assorted love interests. Pure soap opera.

#9

The Second Mrs. Giaconda 

by E.L. Konigsburg ~ 1975

A sadly flat young adult historical fiction concerning Leonardo da Vinci and his young apprentice Salai. (Yawn.) Not awful, but here on the Disappointing list because this writer can be really fantastic – think of From the The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs Basil E. Frankweiler, and The View from Saturday, just for two of her better known YA titles, which grip one’s attention and refuse to let it go even after the last page is turned.

#8

The Magician’s Assistant 

by Ann Patchett ~ 1997

Californian Sabine has just lost her magician husband to AIDS, and though his open homosexuality was no surprise to her the sudden discovery of a unsuspected mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law in far-off Nebraska are. Much drama ensues, mostly to do with abusive husbands – the heterosexual kind. It started off very well but spiralled sadly downwards, with the climax of awful (pun completely intended) being the dreadfully clichéd addition of a lesbian epiphany near the end.

#7

Gerald and Elizabeth

by D.E. Stevenson ~ 1969

Definitely on DES’s B-List. This mild suspense-romance involves stolen diamonds and a successful actress’s hysteria regarding her suspected “melancholia” – the scenario is straight out of a 1800s novel, with 1960s set dressing. Readable, but just barely. I’d been warned, but failed to heed my DES mentors, hoping that it wouldn’t be all that rotten. Wrong I was. Well, you never know till you read it yourself!

#6

The Maze in the Heart of the Castle

by Dorothy Gilman ~ 1983

A sloppy middle school/teenage allegorical story in which the author tosses together a stunning array of quest tropes, and pins them all together with pedestrian writing and a jaw-dropping lack of detail. Of the “Then he overpowered his pursuers, freed the downtrodden slaves, and became a beloved leader” school of hit-only-the-high-points writing. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad…

Saw this frequently referenced as “rare” so on a whim I looked it up on ABE this morning. There are 28 copies, ridiculously overpriced – starting at $30 for a fair paperback and climbing into the hundreds. Save your dollars, people! (Or hey! – make me an offer. I have a decent-condition school library hardcover discard here…) Just kidding. Or maybe not… 😉

#5

Green Mansions

by W.H. Hudson ~ 1904

Thousands loved this when it was first published. One hundred and ten years later, I am less than impressed. An Amazonian jungle romantic tragedy between an aristocratic Venezuelan hiding out from the consequences of a failed political coup, and a mysterious “bird girl” who guards her section of the forest against all intruders.

#4

The Sea-Gull Cry 

by Robert Nathan ~ 1962

An über-light novella concerning a gaggingly winsome pair of Anglo-Polish war refugees shoehorned into a dreadfully upbeat formula romance between the eldest sibling, 19-year-old Louisa, and a middle-aged history professor, Smith. The wee 7-year-old brother provides way too much cuteness and pathos.

#3

The Girl From the Candle-Lit Bath 

by Dodie Smith ~ 1978

82-year-old and possibly out-of-fresh-ideas Dodie Smith pens a sub-par “suspense novel”, full of recycled characters and very thin in plot. Who could ex-actress Nan’s backbench MP husband be surreptitiously meeting in Regent’s Park? Another woman? A male lover? A blackmailer? His secret drug dealer? Or perhaps a Soviet connection seeking political secrets? Nope. The reality is even more lame than these stock scenarios. A disappointing read, from a writer who was capable of rather more.

#2

A Tale of Two Families

by Dodie Smith ~ 1970

Sorry – no review yet on this one because I just read it, and was so sorely let down I couldn’t bring myself to face up to writing about it quite so soon after the experience. Two brothers are married to two sisters. They move to the country together, one couple in a manor house and the other in a cottage on the grounds. Two of the spouses are carrying on an illicit long term affair with each other, and because it’s Dodie Smith at her worst this leads to much arch commentary about the desirability of sexual freedom within relationships blah blah blah. So why keep it all so secret, then, dear Dodie? The plot, what little there is of it, is tissue thin. More anon.

In the meantime Scott at Furrowed Middlebrow has a detailed, thoughtful, and mostly favourable post on this novel. Reading his take makes me step back and reconsider my own first response. Definitely a re-read coming up. (And I stole your cover image, Scott. It’s the same copy as mine, so I shamelessly poached it for this round-up. Fascinating review you’ve written there. I hadn’t considered the Freudian angles at all.)

#1

Her Father’s Daughter

by Gene Stratton Porter ~ 1921

One of the most racially offensive books I’ve yet encountered, and to make it even worse, it is as poorly plotted out as it is marred by a dreadful white supremacist subplot. Lovely teenager Linda has been wronged by her sister, but luckily is able to turn things around by a combination of stellar natural talents and a keen lust for revenge. Featuring the “yellow peril” (the wicked Japanese taking over bits of the USA from the innocent white people) and continual rants on why white people should “strike first” to maintain the upper hand.