It’s been quite some time since I’ve been active here, and I sure have missed you guys. Life got a little bit strange for me about eighteen months ago, and it’s taken me till now to get up the gumption to get a post out.
I have a long saga regarding these missing months, but I think I’ll condense it to the basics. I’ll probably be sharing more in the future, but this shall suffice for now.
I have joined The Club That Nobody Wants to Be In.
Yup. The big C. And yeah, it’s been hard. But we soldier on, as one does. There sure are a lot of us dealing with this stuff. It’s not as exclusive a club as one would wish it to be, but on the plus side, the support I’ve been finding from friends and strangers alike has been beyond positive. Adversity does indeed bring us together. All the cliches are true.
My particular situation was a double whammy. First, malignant melanoma – “This is the one that can kill you”, as the diagnosing doctor soberly said – and then, as a totally unexpected bad bonus, the discovery of a rather large brain tumour. That one came as an utter shock, though in retrospect the symptoms were certainly there, and had been worsening for some years, though I had never even contemplated “brain tumour” as a reason for my worsening eyesight and hearing, and some increasingly strange strength and mobility glitches.
In the past year I have had three unpleasant surgeries, including a craniotomy to attempt brain tumour removal, and several facial surgeries for removal of the skin cancer, and subsequent facial reconstruction from my right eye all the way to the corner of my mouth. (I had a marvelous plastic surgeon – I look good – better than any of us expected.) I also have had six intense weeks of radiation therapy to the tumour site at the back of my brain, my “lifetime dose”, which, if I’m one of the fortunate ones, should knock back regrowth of my cranial interloper, at least for some years. It will continue to be a journey.
I feel okay. Not great, but definitely okay. I will likely never feel really great in the “before” sense – brain surgery and then radiation is a pretty big deal and one sure feels it – but I am still standing. Still walking, albeit with a walking stick some days, still talking as coherently as I ever did, albeit with some speech lags when I get too tired, still enjoying cognitive capabilities pretty well what they were pre-surgery, and – big hurrah! – I can still see. I’ve lost about a quarter of my visual range, but things as of my last ophthalmology assessment show no significant changes, so I’m good with that.
I can still read, and books have played a crucial part in keeping me comforted and dare I say “grounded” during these surreal times.
So here’s to the brand new year, and the books we’ll all read in it, and the companionship of others and all of the good things that go along with that.
I have no idea how often I’ll be posting. Everything seems possible this first week of January. I see my friend Simon is once again tackling ACOB – A Century of Books – and I am mulling over joining him. I’ve completed this ambitious project once before, and partially completed two others, and it is a lot of fun.
For the past year and a half it’s been old favourites and “comfort reads” all the way. Nothing too dramatic, or edgy, or tragic. Real life has provided all of those elements, and books have been, and will continue to be, a respite from that.
I do hope to get a handle on my tendency to just ramble on and on once I do get settled at the keyboard. That’s a worthy challenge all by itself. I might set myself a word limit on future book posts, to force brevity. We shall see.
Cheers, book friends! You are all bright stars in sometimes-dark skies. Thank you for the companionship, and for sharing your words, and may this happily continue in 2024 and beyond.
Barb
(Credit for the comic goes to Tom Gauld.)
Leaves & Pages 
💕
You are back! I’m so happy to see this post after all you’ve been going through and equally excited to have you as another ACOB buddy. And brevity is overrated.
Happy New Year to you, also! Not sure how we connected but… wishing you well and happy reading. MarkSent from my Galaxy
Hi Mark, Perhaps you subscribed to the blog at some point? I believe new posts automatically get sent out. You should be able to unsubscribe if you wish – I know that random emails can be a bit of a hassle. 🙂 Happy reading in 2024!
No, no unsubscribingness (?). I enjoyed your message and look forward to more of your writing. 🙏❤MarkSent from my Galaxy
Appalling news re your health but so glad to see you back! Happy New Year!
Oh Barb, I am so sorry – that must have been (and continue to be) so hard. It’s such a tonic to have your voice back in the blogosphere, and I hope and pray things continue in the right direction. What a relief to still be able to read. And very excited that you are joining in with ACOB!
Happy New Year – I hope it brings you good things this year. It’s lovely to see you posting again, and I look forward to your ACOB.
Dear Barb
So sorry to hear about your trials and tribulations over the past year and a half. Hope the new year brings better times. Don’t worry about the rambling. We’re readers. We love rambling.
All the best.
Barb (from Ottawa)
Oh my! You have been through so much and I’m happy that you came through it all with such a positive outlook. I wish you well and look forward to hearing from you whenever you feel up to it.
Heather
Wishing you the best for 2024 and hoping your health continues to improve. It sounds like you are in good hands. Sending positive vibes your way.
A Happy 2024 to you, Barb! It’s wonderful to see a new post, and perfectly understandable that it has been some time. As my mother used to say, you sound a trooper. You’ve waged battles and have come out a victor. Here’s wishing you the very best of health going forward. Carry on soldier!
Yes, read for fun. And if you can, do share! No need to impose a word limit; you don’t ramble.
Re ACOB: If you do participate, set aside 1981 for Enid Cushing’s Maid-At-Arms. There’s no one’s take I’d rather read than yours.
Happy New Year, Brian! Thank you so much for the well wishes, they are very appreciated.
Maid-at-Arms. Ah, yes. Why am I laughing? What an interesting read that one is. Uncategorizable!? I will see what I can do. Cheers!
Quite a journey. I’m glad you are back.
Oh, the excitement in this corner of Canada when I saw a new post from you this morning. (Yes, Leaves & Pages has always remained in my group of Saturday Blog Visits. Just in cases.)
But oh Barb, your news. I’m so sorry to hear of your long and tough journey. And I’m breathing sighs of encouragement as you push ahead.
As for your upcoming reads, go ahead and read whatever catches your fancy. Read for fun. Read for profit. Read for self-improvement. And ramble all you like.
Many hugs.
Susan! So grand to hear from you. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? The new year seems like a good time to return to things I’m missing, so hopefully I will be posting in a more timely manner. This past year I’ve been sticking with all the old favourites – absolute “comfort reading” – but it’s time to broaden the range a bit, I think. Wishing all good things to you in 2024!
I send you good wishes and strength (which you obviously have already!) and I look forward to more of your posts.
I was thrilled to see a post from you pop up in my feed, but I’m so sorry to hear of your health problems. Best wishes for a better 2024.
O my dear Leaves and Pages, what a horror-story! I wish you all the best, keep following your thread! Marijke Holland
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among things that change. But the thread doesn’t change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread. But it is hard for others to see. While you hold it you can’ get lost. Tragedies happen; people get hurt or die; and you suffer and get old. Nothing you can do can stop time’s unfolding. You don’t ever let go of the thread.
William Stafford
Verstuurd vanaf mijn iPad
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Dear Marijke, so lovely to hear from you. Thank you for the kind wishes, and for the wonderful quote.
A very happy 2024 to you! My best regards, Barb
I recently stumbled on your blog and have enjoyed reading through many of the reviews – am looking forward to working my way through your back catalogue. I noticed the post about your health issues and just wanted to reach out from England and send all good wishes for many happy reading years ahead- from another keen reader
Hard to believe that 2024 is already well onto February. These days do fly by!
Thank you so much for the kind wishes, Ellie. Reading is one of our most reliable pleasures, isn’t it?